I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need to sanitize my soul.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
