Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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