Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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