But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
did i just pee glitter
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
