Don't you send me to vm
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
