Sry I called you an 8
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
