Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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