Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
