We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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