I didn't shave. On purpose
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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