You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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