susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
