ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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