Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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