I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
