I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
