Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
