I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
