hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
