This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
