SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
