Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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