dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
