I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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