my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm both gender and math confused
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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