Whod you bang
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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