I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
