Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
