so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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