we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
