I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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