with your own penis?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
