I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
bring money and cleavage
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
