I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
