Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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