Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
