Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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