I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
