We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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