i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
