We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
