I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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