I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
