I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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