i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
