he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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