Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
