Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm passing your future prison.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
