everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
