i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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